Why wasting your precious time for people having no sincere intent in building of quality win-win relationship? Because we (or at least I) have better time to do with our(my) life, than supporting those “phony-confident”persona’s , searching only for confirmation from others in every walk of life possible. And there are many of them.. Especially on social-networking sites, many are presenting themselves (especially women) in various wannabe-sexy poses, hoping to be followed with as many unoriginal and overused-phrase comments as possible. And sooner or later they are grounded with the value of such compliments; they might be intriguing at first, but over time, their value decreases exponentially.. So why not rather invest the time spent in consolidating the relationships they are really interested in, and over time, get the opinions they could actually value? At least in my view, that would be a much better investment, especially if we also take in account Pareto principle, that could be saying, that we get 80% of our “relationships qualities” from 20% of folks we are involved with, and other 20% from the other 80% of the folks involved. So why dispersing our energy and intents all over the place, and not giving the first 20% our special attention for further improvement of our interactions, and that way creating a circle of friends from which opinions we could actually value?
I am still strongly convinced in the existence of fairy tales… Because I am the main star in one. And next time you define happiness with money and material goods, you should watch the following movie (Slumdog Millionaire (2008)). There are many people living way below our standards, with no access to services and goods we take as most trivial and granted, but still I could bet I can find as many if not more happy and blissful people amongst them. So be grateful for what you got, always strive for improvement (within reasonable limits), enjoy your life and make others to enjoy theirs too. Because we all have theability to live the life of suffering and sorrow and we also have the ability to enjoy every day, relationship, person or event in its blissfulness. It all depends on attitude towards life we choose for ourselves…
Probably the biggest mistake I had been doing in my life was the apologetic approach with which I unconsciously terrorized everything, I had acted upon. That kind ofbehavior is practically always highly unattractive and makes you to repress all potentially “bad” aspects of your personality and habits (so you don’t need to be ashamed of them to often) and makes you some kind of a highlight of your personality traits, that are approved by the masses surrounding you. You become a nice guy in eyes of many, but on the other hand, you are killing a part of yourself with such self-repression. And as you can guess, that kind of behaviour is very far from total self-expression and consequently fromhappiness. But you’re beloved by the masses you say… Isn’t that something?
No, it isn’t, believe me. That way you become just one more of so many, a creature of tradition, with habits and values dictated by others. With no clear mission or purpose you would like to guide your lite to, and quite likely incapable of critical thinking. You become Just one more of the repeaters, guided and manipulated for benefits of others, nothing else than a passive player of your own life. With your wishes dictated by the marketers, self-esteem degraded by commercials, your free time exchanged for bad quality TV entertainment, and opportunities for analysis of thoughts and meditation polluted by the music from your iPod. TV news are terrorizing you with fear and conditioning you in scarcity of real knowledge and real news, to reject every culture and every fellow man, that is at least slightly different. We become likesheep and even worse; we don’t even need a sheep dog, while we, with our criticism and rejection of every deviation, force ourselves and others to realign back tothe path of the purpose of which we usually don’t have a slightest idea. Probably not the life you’re dreaming of…
So what is there to do? Just be unique, don’t be afraid to express the full spectrum of your personality… There is nothing to be ashamed of. Of course you make mistakes, we all do… So why should you regret them? Unless they are contradicting to your system of values, that is not a worthy practice. And you have your own value system, don’t you? Not the one brainwashed to you by your religion or some similar institution, but the one you really and sincerely believe in. The one that would really boost meaning to your life and sharp its core purpose. And for God’s sake, live your own life! (the same goes for me to 
) You owe this to your “Creator”; may it be a chimpanzee, or some extremely advanced intelligence. So in some way, you become a “bad boy” with nice values. Unapologetic about hisweaknesses, critical thinking, purpose guided and by value system oriented person, experiencing life at its fullest and appreciating others for what they are in their core and not to be limited by their prejudices and criticism. At least that is where I am heading forquite some time now and positive results are already evident…
I have a dream… (and I’m not even Martin Luther King 
) That someday, I will have the privilege, to wake up beside a gorgeous woman, grown up to her age, with eyes of a goddess, smile of an angel, and the softness of lips, from beyond my wildest comprehension. Sparkles of happiness in her eyes with slight shyness of her smile, cause of the pleasure received during the night, would quickly repay all the hard times we had gone through during the long lasting relationship, and her soft hand, accompanied with her radiating bliss, caressing my face, the ultimate cure for every stressful situation I would find myself in. The time would be caught in the moment, and my beauty ideal reset every single time, to her god-like appearance. With her smell representing the best our mother nature will ever have to offer, and her gentle floating through the space, presenting the source of guidelines and inspiration for every harmonic movement, she would more than motivate me to dedicate many of my hours to explore and cherish finest and most intimate details of her personality. As my only lifelong inspiration she would have to get used to spoiling and at the same time sharpening her feelings and emotions while we would together learn and explore even the most hidden depths of our passions, emotions and love. It would be a life so simple, but at the same time lived to every extend we would have knowledge to do so. Only love, trust and ultimate pleasure on the path to our oneness…
From time to time I observe myself and my current material and intellectual state. I could easily say both of the above have improved greatly through the recent year, still can be felt some kind of discontent, trying to remind me , that I have been pushing myself way below my limits. Human nature as it is, and in my case, far too deep reaching influence of perfectionism, differs my achievements greatly from expectations, set at the start of the journey, which are far more optimized and planned time much more productively spent. And unless you are well-trained planer, guided by down to earth realistic expectations, the feeling mentioned above will always be present, so probably the best solution for this would be to tame it, put more value on the work done, reward yourself for it in some way, and choose to strive for excellence rather than perfection (because it is unattainable, only time consuming) in the future.
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